Dear Chris
I expect you have missed our little chats.  I am pleased that Google seems to be doing better and has not caught a virus or had trouble with its nasdaqs since it said www.windsorsoup.co.uk could put Absense stickers on our site, the site of the Society for the Preservation of Organic Old Foods.
Some of the ads are very nice but some are strange. There was one the other day for colitis. I looked it up in the dictionary and it said it was an inflammation of the colon so I cannot imagine anyone wanting to buy it. Though a colon is two dots one above the other. Side by side they are an umlaut and foreign. So perhaps an inflamed colon is like this
:
Which is quite  nice.
Anyway I allowed absense despite my disgust that people can type Teen Sex into Google without you telling them off.
It does say that if anyone clicks on the ad then Google sends me some money. It would therefore be very tempting to spent hours on your own site clicking the absense button. You could therefore become rich as Creosus, or Sergey, two mythical creatures Chris. But that would be naughty and not fitting to an English Gentleman.
We would in England Chris call a chap who did that a cad and a bounder . In American you call them "an entrepreneur." Which means undertaker.
Anyway as a gentleman Chris, which according to the Sunday Telegraph, half of you is, you will half understand I could not bring myself to do it.
So I got my lady wife Lucinda to do it instead.
Anyway she was clicking away on the luscious ( not lovely as you said) links page when she came across
 
This is a site to sell tickets to people to encourage them to come and visit us in Windsor!. Which is great. However Chris two points
It does not tell them that Windsor was actually named after a soup. Nor that due to MacDonald and Colonel Sanders, two American undertakers Chris  taking over our restaurants you cannot buy the soup in Windsor!
It would only be honest to warn people of this on your advertisement Chris if they come to visit because we do not want Google to put on adverts on Windsor Soup which mislead people
Yours
Arthur Brownwindsor
Society for the Preservation Of Organic Old Foods SPOOF.
PS I know you do not like attachments in case they have diseases but these gerbils are very healthy. I sent their picture because it said you are allowed to work on pet projects one day a week and I hoped you might send a picture of your pet.


Unfortunately not.

 
Serious reply next..you could not make it up.!
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