I went to the Duke of Connaught.
I went to the Gents and I thought
A sign on the door
Said " Be Careful! WET FLOOR!
And I 've always done as I was taught.

Danny's Granny

Danny's Granny
Mrs Mills
Always taking little pills
She takes them for
Her heart
Her legs
Her feet
Her corf
All I really want to know
is
How do the pills know where to go?


Poetry bit. Nothing to do with Windsor


There was a jolly pirate ship
With Jolly Roger too
And jolly was the captain
And jolly were the crew

One night while on the jolly sea
They all got jolly drunk
They crashed into some jolly rocks
And jolly well got sunk

Which soon wiped the smiles off their stupid thieving faces

When The Vicar came to tea

When the vicar came to tea
We had salad
No-one bothered about me
We had salad
They had told me little boys
Should sit and make no noise
So I did not make a sound
When he ate the snail I'd found
With a nasty crunching sound
In his salad.

English

Writing an ode to trees and wind
Needs a good poetic mind
Because a lot of English words
About the butterflies and birds
Don't spell the same and yet they rhyme
In fact they do it all the time!
Or else they spell as if they should
And don't, I do not find it good
So if I write an ode to prove
My ever and undying love
I really should spell love as loove
Of write it pruv instead of prove
So English makes it very hard
To be a good poetic bard
Done it at last!


Nature
The countryside in August
Is full of bees and flowers
That's why I stay inside my house
And sneeze for hours and hours
You too can do the same. Link to Duke of Connaught pub Windsor
Ceramic of statue of George III
in Windsor Urinal and Art Gallery